The first set I encountered was really just a speaker. What attracted me to the iMax Mini was a large warning on the box claiming "Unbelievably Loud". Eager and aroused, I plugged it in to my iPod and was regaled with the quietest, most distorted tale of a woman waking up in the morning feeling like a popular hip hop artist and then proceeding to brush her teeth with booze, that I have ever heard.
"Warning: Will Ruin Erection"
"Oh no you didn't"
Feeling a bit depressed, I moved on to the next purveyor and found this:
"Money to buy it not included"
This JBL model (probably not a real one) proved to have startlingly big sound with great quality for such a tiny dock and my erection swiftly returned. I turned to address the store clerk, who turned out to be breathlessly attractive. I looked from the clerk to the dock to the clerk again, and my erection was conflicted over what to be more aroused by. I settled for both equally.
Finally regaining the ability to speak, I asked her how much the dock cost.
I decided it was imperative that I not show this beautiful store clerk that I wasn't made of money, so after almost a minute of silence in which my face struggled to remain unchanged, I told her I would come back if I couldn't find a better, definitely more expensive one. Because I'm absolutely loaded.
I flashed her a smile and departed, with no intention of returning.
After judging several more models, I began to feel like I would never find the right speakers for me. They were all either too expensive, too shitty, or too looks-like-a-Pokemon (which would be awesome if I could be sure no woman would ever see it ever).
"She won't be fondling your Pokeballs"
On the verge of giving up, I found this:
"Your arousal is justified"
The ExtremeMac Studio. I knew it was love at first sight. The following is the series of events that followed my discovery of this dock:
Search for dock. The fucker comes out of the bottom when you push it. Awesome.
Test. Holy shit that's loud! And the quality is great! Awesome.
Charging is supported! Awesome
A remote too!? Awesome. *Adjusts pants to facilitate straining arousal*
Check the voltage. 100-240! It'll work in the US! Awesome!
Cost. 70 dollars. Change of pants necessary.
Needless to say, I bought them and they are now situated on my nightstand, playing my
music Ke$ha oh so beautifully.
"Those speakers make even my shit music sound decent"
Maybe now she'll spend more time wanting to marry me for my speakers and less time ruining the music industry.