Songs of the Now 1

Since I just got back stateside after a fantastic Summer in Cambodia, I'm much too busy/tired/excited/lazy for a lengthy post. I've decided to use this time to start a new blog series where I will be laying out up to ten songs that have my knickers all up in my bum (this means songs that are fucking fantastic). This is not a daily, though sometimes it may be. I will be posting these freeform, whenever I find enough great songs to justify a post. This will in no way get in the way of my other posting.

The now's top songs are:

On My Balcony by Flunk
Visions by Hooverphonic
6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps
Don't Really Know Me by Snowden
Up All Night With Stereotypes by Young Jesus
Bring The Night by Sia
Brave New World by Covenant
8 Bits by mind.in.a.box
I Love 64 by mind.in.a.box

Go and enjoy these songs if you want. I certainly do.

Agony of Choice: One Man's Quest For Audio Superiority

Having recently replaced my stolen iPod with an even better one (a royal "fuck you" to the thieves), and also finding myself suddenly not broke, I decided it was time to get a set of speakers that would make music Ke$ha proud. After asking around, I was told that speakers could be found at Sorya, a shopping center close by. Desperate for the cheap prices I presumed could be found in a Cambodian shopping center, I immediately nabbed a tuktuk to Sorya. On the Fourth floor are found electronics ranging from fecal earphones to holy-shit-I-need-to-change-my-pants headphones to look-at-that-TVs. After locating several purveyors of iPod speakers, I began my rigorous review phase:

The first set I encountered was really just a speaker. What attracted me to the iMax Mini was a large warning on the box claiming "Unbelievably Loud". Eager and aroused, I plugged it in to my iPod and was regaled with the  quietest, most distorted tale of a woman waking up in the morning feeling like a popular hip hop artist and then proceeding to brush her teeth with booze, that I have ever heard.

"Warning: Will Ruin Erection"

My arousal shattered, I refused the tiny Droideka; I wouldn't want Ke$ha to be offended.

"Oh no you didn't"

Feeling a bit depressed, I moved on to the next purveyor and found this:

"Money to buy it not included"

This JBL model (probably not a real one) proved to have startlingly big sound with great quality for such a tiny dock and my erection swiftly returned. I turned to address the store clerk, who turned out to be breathlessly attractive. I looked from the clerk to the dock to the clerk again, and my erection was conflicted over what to be more aroused by. I settled for both equally. 

Finally regaining the ability to speak, I asked her how much the dock cost. 

139 dollars. 

Shit.

I decided it was imperative that I not show this beautiful store clerk that I wasn't made of money, so after almost a minute of silence in which my face struggled to remain unchanged, I told her I would come back if I couldn't find a better, definitely more expensive one. Because I'm absolutely loaded. 

I flashed her a smile and departed, with no intention of returning. 

After judging several more models, I began to feel like I would never find the right speakers for me. They were all either too expensive, too shitty, or too looks-like-a-Pokemon (which would be awesome if I could be sure no woman would ever see it ever). 

"She won't be fondling your Pokeballs"

On the verge of giving up, I found this:

"Your arousal is justified"

The ExtremeMac Studio. I knew it was love at first sight. The following is the series of events that followed my discovery of this dock:

Search for dock. The fucker comes out of the bottom when you push it. Awesome.

Test. Holy shit that's loud! And the quality is great! Awesome.

Charging is supported! Awesome

A remote too!? Awesome. *Adjusts pants to facilitate straining arousal*

Check the voltage. 100-240! It'll work in the US! Awesome!

Cost. 70 dollars. Change of pants necessary.

Needless to say, I bought them and they are now situated on my nightstand, playing my music Ke$ha oh so beautifully.

"Those speakers make even my shit music sound decent"

Maybe now she'll spend more time wanting to marry me for my speakers and less time ruining the music industry.

Goth Clubs > Other Clubs

I'd like to get one thing out of the way before I go on about the wonders of goth clubs, and that is that I am in no way a goth, nor do I have anything against them (quite the contrary, in fact). I just love the atmosphere and music.

First of all, I'm not a fan of dancing anyplace other than a goth club, because when I dance to notgothmusic, I look like a late-stage parkinson's patient who's about to be beaten to death for looking like a bloody idiot. Here's me at a notgothclub. Ladies?

Wow, I sure am awesome. And in case you're wondering, this disturbingly empty club is located in Kep, Cambodia. These pictures were taken approxmately 10 days ago. Further, that thing on my head which is so flawlessly complimenting my badassery dripping with awesomeness is a Buff. These linfinitely useful head ornaments are a necessity for those who find themselves traveling a lot in extreme weather and for those with beautiful hair that reacts badly when exposed to "dancing". Here, the Buff is making me awesome in the same way that a pirate is awesome. (The second picture is of me doing my impression of BP)

Moving on, and back to what I thought I would write about, the quintessential club is none other than the goth club. I frequent one not too far from my place of residence every Friday. I refuse to name the example of club perfection lest my adoring fans fan overwhelm me there. But I can assure you it is the best.

The music in a goth club is consistently the best dance music in the history of everything. Artists like Wolfsheim, The Cure, Apoptygma Berserk, Covenant, VNV Nation, She Wants Revenge, Skinny Puppy, and more caress your eardrums like only the most expensive Lebanese prostitutes can.

Another reason I love the goth club is that the dancing that goes on within is far superior to the dancing that accompanies hip-hop (looking like an asshole), pop (looking like a shithead), or metal (looking like a shitheaded asshole). Goth dancing is only matched in awesomeness by swing dancing, which I would love to learn how to do without killing myself.

The reason goth dancing is so amazing is because there are no expectations in place. Therefore, in a goth club, you are likely to encounter examples from beautiful to does-he-know-people-can-see-him. And no one will judge you! I typically dance like a fucking legend, but that wasn't so when I first started going there, but the great thing is there will always be someone looking stupider than you, so it doesn't matter. Even better, there really is no expected dress. For example, I never dress as a goth for a night at the club, and neither do many of its patrons.

The last reason I find goth clubs so compelling is the people who frequent them; goths, freaks, normies, old people, unexplainables, thatguys, and oh-my-god-I-love-hers. The goth club I visit weekly is made up of these people. My favorite are the oh-my-god-I-love-hers, obviously. Despite my lack of goth mentality/dress/lifestyle, I find the less severe goth females incredibly compelling, but then I've always been fond of weird, and glasses, for that matter. Reading glasses. Irresistible.

                                                                                                                                                               Dat glass.

Anyway, goth clubs are perfect for people-watching. These venues typically attract a cross-section of society's more interesting people, and I much prefer them over the less unique, regular club population.

If you find yourself wanting to spend an evening out partying and a goth club is within reasonable travel distance, I sincerely urge you to take the plunge. You won't regret it.

All this talk of goth clubs makes me miss home; there are no goth clubs in Cambodia.